Thursday, September 9, 2010

Counseling Services

offer people a resource to improve on any of the internal or emotional issues that they are currently facing. Counseling provides the platform for a person to be able to release the stressors that have overcome their lives. are a common source of aid for those that are suffering from such issues as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, eating disorders, family problems, suicidal thoughts, or even sexual identity. Counseling is an avenue that can be taken in order to improve the mental state of the individual. Ultimately, counseling will also have an effect on how a person is able to function physically, as well. Once counseling is aided upon in order to improve some of the emotional issues that a person is faced with, it also influences the health state of the individual in addition.

can be obtained in a variety of different approaches. will always work with an individual to determine what method of counseling is going to be the best resolve for them. The type of counseling that generally offer their clients are individual counseling, group counseling, psychiatric counseling. may decide that a particular type of counseling is the proper fit for the individual, or they may determine that a mixed combination is going to be the proper approach.

One of the aspects about that make them so effective to the individual is the fact that these afford a way for the individual to grow, as they work through their issues. are instrumental in allowing a client to be able to fully assess their situations so that they may move pass them. Counseling allows a person to lay all their issues right out on the table, then be able to seek a resolution in an objective frame of mind. are not created to map out your future, but to help guide you in the right direction as to what is the best path to take. allow you to clarify your issues, then hone in on your thoughts and feelings so that you know what it is that your heart feels will be the best route for you to take.

Couples Therapy Techniques

Couples Therapy

Several techniques in couples therapy have proven to be very productive in allowing a couple to reach the goal of repairing their relationships. These couples counseling techniques are in high practice for that very reason. However, for any of these to have any success at all, both partners have to be willing to set their pride aside, and actively involve themselves in the participation of each of the couples counseling exercises. One of the more popular that opens up the windows of the soul in preparation for the healing and repair of the relationship to take place is the Open Chair couples therapy technique. This couples counseling technique allows each partner the opportunity to let out exactly how they feel being in the relationship. In the Open Chair couples therapy technique, there is an empty chair placed in the room, one of the partners exits the room, and the other partner then is given the opportunity to act out how they feel being in the relationship. This technique of couples counseling even allows that partner to sit in that empty chair and act out how the other partner reacts to them. The Open Chair couples therapy technique continues as the other partner re-enters the room. This part of the couples counseling allows them to re-assess what they were feeling during their Open Chair reenactment, then they are able to reveal this to their partners. The couples therapy counselor is then able to guide them, as they work through the issues that are presented.

Another powerful couples therapy technique that is practiced highly is Reframing couples counseling. Most times, when people attend couples counseling, there is a great deal of animosity within their relationship. They typically have troubles functioning as a couple because they can not seem to get along with each other. What once served as making the individual so special to be with, now are seen as flaws that they can’t seem to get along with, and look past. This is why it is the major focus of couples counseling to work out these kinks. In the Reframing couples counseling technique, these negatives are turned into positives. The Reframing couples therapy technique allows both partners to work with a therapist to find a way that those negative characteristics of the other, can be viewed in a positive light. Ultimately, this technique of couples counseling allows couples to be able to talk through their problems so that both individuals have the ability to compromise in order to do what is going to be best for the relationship.

Types of Counselors Available for Children

Counselors for Children

One of the types of counselors that are available to provide children with the therapy that they need are educational counselors. An educational counselor is often necessary to prepare children for the careers that they are going to embark upon in the future. In addition, educational counselors are available to help with the more immediate needs of the child. If a child needs additional attention in any area of their growth and learning development while on school grounds, an educational counselor is available to assist them with any learning deficiencies. Educational counselors are also play an active role in a child’s life by making sure that they are up to speed with what it is that they need to be doing in their educational lives, such as keeping up with their study habits, passing state mandated tests, maintaining proper attendance, and actively preparing for the transition to the next educational training phase of their lives.

Elementary school counselors seem to have a different approach to counseling. As a child ages, a counselor will take on a more individual approach to counseling. Counselors are typically only called upon for individual sessions when a child is in elementary school when the child is dealing with a learning curve or disability, a familial issue, or shows poor behavioral trends. Other than that, the standard approach that an elementary school counselor will take is to perform group sessions amongst classes. A counselor will observe how each child behaves in the classroom. If the counselor feels that a child has special needs, the counselor will bring this to the attention of the parent, other school Administration, as well as the child’s teachers. Counselors then help to formulate a plan to help a child as they work together to assist, as well as help them improve.

High school counselors are a very important part of the lives of all children. High school counselors work to see that minors are equipped to embark upon adult life. A high school counselor works to ensure that they know what it is that they need to know to adequately prepare for their futures. A high school counselor allow students to assess their skills, and see what will be the right career industry for them to enter. They will advise them about the standardized tests they are to take, the college search, the admissions process, and how to obtain financial assistance. A high school counselor even gives them techniques as to how to hunt for a job. High school counselors are able to help students as they make that transition after high school to the first day of the rest of their lives.

When to See a Family Counselor

Family Counselor

There are many instances in which a family will find it necessary to undergo family counseling. Typically, there is a tragic event that has happened within the family that causes everyone to be affected. Family counseling is an avenue that they are able to utilize in order to bring the family back together again. There is usually the need for a family counselor to step in because it is clear that the issue involves the mental state of more than one individual. Family counseling is a way that each member of the family can have each of their issues addressed. One of the major events that happens within a family that usually is the cause for them to undergo family counseling is when there is an instance of abuse that has occurred, or is reoccurring within the family. A family counselor is usually needed to step in to help members of the family overcome trauma, and help those that have committed the abuse function in a way in which these situations can be easily avoided. A family counselor also takes the opportunity to work with the family members individually to work on issues. That way, they can better communicate with the entire family.

People often feel the need to see a family counselor when there is a substance abuse issue in the household. If a member of the family is abusing an illegal substance, it takes a toll on the entire family. Their lifestyle and behavior begins to trickle down upon the entire family. Family counseling is usually necessary to allow a family to be able to work through the turmoil. Even if the family member has overcome the addiction, and is working to maintain sobriety, family counseling is often needed in order to give the family the healing that they need to be able to move forward.

If a child within a family has a special condition, this may be grounds for the family to meet with a family counselor. If there are other children that are growing up in the household with a child with special needs, it is often warranted that a family counselor be obtained in order to allow the children to make the adjustment of the other child gaining special attention. Family counseling is a way to avoid any jealousy amongst the children. Family counseling is also a great tool to show children how they are able to be supportive to the other child with the special needs. Ultimately, family counseling is beneficial in making the family stronger and closer, as a unit.

A family counselor may be sought if there is a member of the family that is undergoing severe depression. Depression is an illness that can take its toll on the entire family. If a member of the family is not feeling up to par, that affects the way that they relate to the entire family. A family counselor will work with the individual that is going through the depression in an attempt to make them cope. Once it is determined by the family counselor that the depressed member is making progression, family counseling will be executed on more of a familial level to help the communication and support system strengthen the entire family.

Online Christian Counseling

has become a viable means of Christian counseling. Many will utilize the services of when they want to meet with a Christian counselor, but have not fully committed to the idea enough where they are willing to spend the travel time and money, on going to see a Christian counselor face to face. gives one the opportunity to meet with a Christian counselor without ever leaving the comfort of their own homes. They are able to meet with a Christian counselor while online in a forum that permits very little commitment on their parts, to start. Since most sessions are free of charge, it is up to the individual to make the best out of the experience.

An online Christian counselor is usually the optimal choice for those that feel more comfortable talking about their issues to an outside source that they do not know. They want to be able to talk to a Christian counselor that they can truly open up with, without the fear of feeling judged. They want to be able to meet with a Christian counselor who is not going to reject them, or make them feel embarrassed.

caters to the individual in terms of timing. A person may meet with a Christian counselor anywhere from an hour, to several hours. Christian counseling is something that is always voluntary, so the individual has the personal right to terminate an session at any time that they would like. Even with , a person has the opportunity to do a follow up meet with a Christian counselor. A Christian counselor may even give follow up assignments to work on. Christian counselors may also work with a client for a significant period of time. They are willing to meet with a client from the span of months to years, until the individual reaches the point where they feel that they have fully benefited from the Christian counseling experience.

Grief Counseling

It is important for parents to consider when a child has lost a loved one that was near and dear to them. is a method that can be used to help an individual overcome the tragedy. Some of the behaviors that may be practiced that indicates that a person needs to seek out is when there is an intense sense of guilt is felt, there is an inability to function in some facet of life, be it personal or professional, if there are thoughts of suicide, or if an individual is seeing or hearing things that are not there.

is a therapy that is practiced in order to help a person channel in on his or her opinions. There is sometimes a point where there is a need to meet with a grief counselor because a person feels that they are disconnected, and numb to life. allows a person to be able to come to term with those feelings of hurt, and be able to express those feelings in more of a productive way. For this reason, a grief counselor will often channel upon a person’s creative side in order to be able to let out those feelings. A grief counselor often suggests that a person takes the time of bereavement to perfect their craft. During , they are able to hone in on what they enjoy, and allow that to bring joy to the places in their lives where they felt that there was a void.

During , it is very common that a person’s physical health will be examined. A grief counselor will work with a patient on their mental state of being because that is where the core of the problem presents itself. However, a grief counselor knows very well that a person’s grief highly affects their physical health. Oftentimes, this is also the reason why a person discovers that they need to obtain . They reach a point where the pain is taking such a toll on their physical health, that they can no longer hold on to the hurt. They must obtain so that they are able to successfully move forward.

A grief counselor knows that grief can be reoccurring. A grief counselor knows very well from experience the fact that there are things that can trigger another episode or period of grief. A grief counselor works with you to allow you to properly prepare for those triggers. A grief counselor will provide you with the foundation that you need to be able to go through the periods of the year, such as birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries where there is the possibility that grief will be able to take that toll again. A grief counselor prepares an individual for those constant reminders that influence unpleasant thoughts and feelings that one must work to overcome.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Finding a Therapist

can be a rather tough endeavor for many, but the results are usually well worth the effort. In order to find a therapist, one must put the necessary work into making the right choice. It is important to keep in mind that the decision that you make when you are has a large impact on your future, so the time that you put into the selection process is invaluable. When you find a therapist, you want to be sure that you have a therapist that you feel comfortable and content with. You want to find a therapist that is going to be able to most successfully at relating to you in a way that they are able to evoke the most change. When is to find a therapist that is truly able to help you overcome the specific issues that you are dealing with. This means that you want to find a therapist that has the qualification, experience, and success at helping clients with the type of issue that you are experiencing.

In order to find a therapist, one of the first approaches that you are going to want to take is to seek out recommendations. Beyond family and friends, you are going to want to ask those that are professionals in the industry about their personal recommendations. When , you may want to look to your primary care doctors to see who they recommend. In order to find a therapist, some people will even call or visit a large local university, and see who their department recommendations are. Since is about finding the right match for the individual, you are to do research beyond word of mouth. When you want to find a therapist, you are to look into their background and qualifications and see if they are going to be able to help you with the issues that you are experiencing.

To find a therapist, you may also search the Internet to find those in your area that specialize in the type of therapy that you are seeking out. When online, you are going to want to play close attention to qualifications versus advertisement. When looking to find a therapist online, it may be a very convenient, yet time-consuming activity. In order to find a therapist over the Internet, you have to be able to weed through the generalizations, and find the specifics of what that particular therapist can do for you.

does not stop at reading someone’s bio, then deciding that they are the proper choice for you. When , you have to get a sense of the type of commitment that you are going to be entering into with them. This means that, when , you need to either physically meet with them, or speak with them over the phone in order to be able to best gauge if there methods and approach is going to be the best type of therapy for you.

The Best Child Therapist for Your Child

Therapist for Your Child

Finding the right child therapist is one of the more severe hiring processes that can not be taken lightly. Just about every child therapist is going to be able to bring some value to your child’s life, but a child therapist should be able to offer your child the best improvement that can possibly be obtained. A child therapist will highly influence your child’s life, so it is important that the most optimal results are attained during the therapy process. Child therapists are able to identify with your child, and see exactly what issues they are dealing with that they did not have the capacity to express themselves. Child therapists are responsible for seeing to it that your child makes progress, so they must have the capacity to assist your child with being able to do so.

Before you a hire a child therapist, you are going to want to conduct a reference check for each of the child therapists. In addition to the professional references that are provided by the child therapists, especially since the therapy will take place with a child, it is equally as important that the child therapist provide you with personal reference checks, as well. Child therapists have certain techniques that they use in their therapy sessions with your child. While keeping an open mind, you are to make sure that the child therapist is going to be able to connect with your child, using that method. Child therapists also have certain levels of certification and education. You will also want to inquire with each child therapist about the degrees that they have obtained. Some child therapists may also have a method by which they tend to measure success. Therefore, you should ask if the child therapist has any numbers on the success rate of their therapy counseling service.

You are also going to want to speak with child therapists right away about the fees that are associated with their service. You may find that they have payment schedules that you must adhere to on a consistent basis in order to maintain therapy. The last thing that you want to happen is to see your child making progress with a therapist, and then discover that the child can no longer receive therapy counseling because you were not able to meet the financial obligation. Additionally, some child therapists have very strict office hours. You want to make sure that the child therapists that you are selecting from have office hours that coincide with when you are available for your child to receive therapy counseling on a consistent basis.

Jul 24, Are you a Depth Counselor? This Research Could Amaze You.

All of us in the field of counseling and theories of counseling owe a great debt to the ground breaking work of Sigmund Freud.

Had the unconscious not been discovered, at least the way he discovered it, none of us would have jobs.

Human kind has always attempted to explain behavior and meaning, through tools such as mythology, shamanism, and astrology, but until Freud and his successors, there was never a theory of mind, and certainly no science of helping, no theory of counseling.

It is not my purpose here to discuss the huge amount of controversy and research and the various schools of psychoanalysis, but to provide a beginning point for your own search.

Without Freud though, we would still be doing mesmerization in the parlor.

The following material is from Wikipedia, and the link follows.

"Psychoanalysis is a body of ideas developed by Austrian physician Sigmund Freud and his followers, which is devoted to the study of human psychological functioning and behavior.It has three applications:

1. a method of investigation of the mind; 2. a systematized set of theories about human behavior; and 3. a method of treatment of psychological or emotional illness.

Sep 6, Divorce Counseling How Are Folks Doing?

Divorce CounselingDivorce Counseling

You would think that a domestic violence educator would be familiar with divorce counseling. While I hear many emotional stories from my clients about their relationships and marriages, I focus on the issue of power and control, and moving from power and control to a position of offering choice, and I believe that is what divorce counseling ultimately ends up working to establish.

Actually I am not at all familiar with the ins and outs of divorce counseling, so I really enjoyed the following article by retired judge Ann Kass.

"I often surprise divorcing couples, or couples who were divorced long ago but who are back in court, by suggesting that they get "divorce counseling." The most common reaction is confusion because they don't know there is a difference between "divorce" counseling and "marriage" counseling.

Marriage counseling is aimed at keeping a marriage intact. Divorce counseling is aimed at taking a marriage apart, but doing so with dignity and respect.

Divorce counseling is a good idea for almost everyone. It should be strongly recommended for people who have children, and it should be mandatory for people who get mired in their hurt and anger.

People who are stuck in their hurt and anger often show up in court over-and-over, sometimes year-after-year to argue about issues that often seem silly.

For example, one couple had several court hearings to argue about dog ashes. That's right, dog ashes. During their marriage, they had two dogs; both had died and been cremated. Obviously, the pets had been well-loved members of the family, but these folks spent hundreds of dollars to pay lawyers to file court papers and to go to court to argue about ashes: Who should get the ashes? Did each really get half the ashes? Were the ashes each one got really their dogs' ashes?

Obviously dog ashes weren't the issue. Dog ashes were only the conversation piece, the excuse to continue interacting. Couples like this have a need to stay involved with each other. They seem to have things to say to one another, but they aren't conscious of what it is they need to say. So they talk about dog ashes.

Lawyers and judges aren't trained to help these couples figure out what is at the root of the problem, so lawyers and judges find themselves also talking about dog ashes, with straight faces and in legalese. Generally we are able to find the right legal answer to the dog ashes question, but when we solve the dog ashes problem, these couples come up with a new conversation piece. It may be a crock pot or a rocking chair or whether Christmas visitation should start at 7:00 a.m. or 8:00 a.m. Whatever the conversation piece may be, the legal system is set up in such a way that these couples can keep each other in court practically forever.

The only way to really resolve disputes like these is for the couples to get divorce counseling with a professional counselor who can help them find their way to peace. It's a matter of helping them become aware of their hidden agendas--helping them become conscious of their subconscious needs and pains.

Parents who get divorce counseling save money in the long-run. They also can teach their children valuable skills by role-modeling respectful cooperation and perseverance. Most importantly, they can give their children the invaluable gift of peace."

For more Anne Kass articles, go here to select from complete list of 97 articles

Can Divorce Be Cooperative and Affiliative?So the marriage counseling has not worked, or been tried, and the divorce counseling has begun.

Neutrals have been hired and the couple are working their way through the legal process of divorce.

From my perspective, I think the folks, including the children, involved in this process need to move effectively through a number of internal processes which involve a significant amount of self-awareness, and commitment to effective self-talk and assertive communication, which is not usually easy because of the emotions involved in the divorce process, which can spill over at any given moment.

I think the John and Julie Schwartze-Gottman workshop called The Art and Science of Love offers an excellent model for some of the emotional issues and communication issues which are sure to arise. I recommend their model because it is straight forward, with video instruction and paper and pencil exercises. While primarily focused on marriage counseling, the communication and self-talk modules can be helpful for individuals to model in divorce counseling.

The Gottman's advocate for the emotion of anger that the individuals take their pulse, and if their pulse rate rises above 100 beats per minute, then the couple or the individual needs to take time outs, and calm down.

It is particularly important that men do this, because the male physiology around alertness and aggression demands a minimum of a 20 minute calm down period.

I want to suggest that a biofeedback tool called Heartmath for both or maybe all the participants to the divorce counseling process would be extremely useful, because Heartmath trains an individual to move from an incoherent heart rate consistent with adrenalin and cortisol or stress hormones, which demands a large action, to heart rate variability coherence, which is associated with cooperative and affiliative behaviors.

One can create and sustain heart rate variability coherence for long periods of time with practice, and even one calm person can move the divorce counseling in very positive (not perfect) but positive direction.

So can you imagine all the parties to the divorce getting on the same heart beat, and cooperating to end the marriage and rebuild lives?

Sep 7, An Online Divorce Counselor

Divorce CounselorDivorce Counselor

A divorce counselor may be called on to wear a number of hats. Prior to the actual legal action, a divorce counselor may offer information about legal options and some insight on the emotional process which might be expected.

Subsequent to the divorce, a divorce counselor may work with the children, and the couple on co-parenting issues, grieving the loss of the marriage, and even how to handle the feelings and family issues around one of the parents starting a new relationship.

Sep 8, A New Tool For Parenting Counseling

Parenting CounselingParenting CounselingParenting counseling, what does that mean? I am a parent, a late life parent, which has its own built in wisdom and deficiencies when the kids are almost 11 and just turned 5.

I find myself routinely looking back to my own childhood and remembering behaviors that I demonstrated, and my parents response to those behaviors, to evaluate how strong my response should be to the behaviors of my kids, when I am alarmed about something they say or do, and that, according to Marcy Axness, Ph.D., is what parenting counseling is about, us making sense of our childhood experience so that we can guide our children.

However we know today that attachment plays a huge part in the brain development of our children, and a secure attachment can be attended to, guided, enhanced so that our children enjoy secure relationships as adults.

So I want to study up on what makes attachment happen in relationship with children.

My reading of Allen Schore's work says that attachment is visual and is communicated when the children are young through the eyes and voice and touch, when I smile they smile and vice versa, and that their may be as many as 20 contacts like that per minute when an infant needs them.

The infant will also signal when they are over stimulated by breaking off eye contact.

So how do we sustain healthy attachment through the inevitable behavioral issues which will occur with our kids as they grow up, how do I deliver consequences for deliberate transgressions from an emotional place that teaches but does not abuse.

Of course, it takes thousands of those small, quick, loving contacts to ensure a secure attachment, but only one perception of serious threat to change a child's brain forever, so how do I parent from a place of emotional regulation?

Perhaps the most important thing that I have learned about attachment is the role of the father in regulating aggression.

Dad's, in their play with children, are supposed to help them understand the limits of arousal, how to go up and down the arousal ladder so that no one gets hurt, especially with the boys who have a greater aggressive endowment, and everyone has fun, so the key for me in terms of parenting is to learn how to regulate my own arousal, so I am communicating to my children that their consequences are serious but they are not perceiving that they are going to die soon.

It is their perception that changes their brain.

I have used many tools to practice appropriate internal self-regulation. The cheapest and quickest is deep breathing, a breath in for three counts, hold for three, and then exhale for a count of three, repeated three times.

Perhaps I will need to do more repetitions to calm down.

However my culture has taught me to breathe shallowly in my chest which keeps me dripping a little adrenalin into the system, and sometimes I am caught unprepared by the intensity of my response to a callous kiddie crime, a child kicking a kitten, or deliberately refusing to follow the rules of the household, and at that point I use another tool, HeartMath, which cues a calmer physiology and allows me to access my heart's affiliative and cooperative intelligence.

Parenting Counseling With HeartMath

HeartMath, which I have used personally and professionally for about 8 years, teaches me how to cue a coherent heart beat on demand, which makes it an extraordinary tool to use in the moment of high arousal to change my physiology back to a physiology of appreciation and cooperativenss so I deliver a consequence which teaches and does not damage attachment.

And that process does take practice, and you do not have to be perfect.

If you parent from a place of threat, intimidation, or contempt, you can repair that with your child at a moment when you both are calmer.

There are a huge number of benefits to learning to regulate your arousal, using HeartMath which is very definitely a mindfulness tool, including your neuroplasticity and neurogenesis.

But before I explain what those are, here is a link to HeartMath.